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Re:Lit | Porn Again Christian | by Mark Driscoll | Introduction

Wednesday, October 08, 2008

This is a link to the introduction to Pastor Mark Driscoll's new book for men.

image “I made a covenant with my eyes not to look lustfully at a girl.”
– Job 31:1 (NIV)

You are part of a culture that spends more money each year on pornography than country music, rock music, jazz music, classical music, Broadway plays, and ballet combined. In Paul’s day, he accused some people of worshiping their stomachs as their god, and in our day it appears that our god has simply moved a short distance south.

Give the rest of the intro a read and share your thoughts...

Here are some of my thoughts:

  1. "Because I am speaking to fellow men, my tone may not be well suited for some women and, therefore, I would request that they not read this booklet, unless they are a wife whose husband has read it first and he can discuss its contents with her in love." --- At some point, guys, you're going to have to bring your wife in on what you are struggling with. You can't do this without your wife having your back. You need her support and you need her prayers. I've found that my wife has an amazing capacity for grace. I've, with fear and trembling, confessed failures (note the plural) and she's had more grace for that than she does when I leave my shoes in the middle of the floor.
  2. New vocabulary word: "cranial-rectal extraction"
  3. Notice the logo above with the eyeball. That is a link to Covenant Eyes. Covenant Eyes provides software that you can download onto your computer that tracks every single link your computer follows. Every. Single. And then it rates the site as to how potentially pornographic it is. Then, a list is compiled and emailed to two accountability partners of your choosing. I've been a customer for about five years. My close friend gets a monthly email and so does my wife. Neither on of them let's me get away with anything. They confront me if/when I stray and don't allow any excuses. But they also have my back in prayer. How about you? What's your plan? Who has your back?

Re:Lit | Porn Again Christian | by Mark Driscoll | Introduction

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13 comments:

BrianD said...

I'm with you, Bryon. Reading the intro now.

BrianD said...

1. There are not a lot of resources out there to deal with this kind of thing. They're out there, but you have to hunt for them. If Driscoll's ebook wasn't online, I'd check out Josh Harris; Jack Hayford; Ted Roberts; Pure Life Ministries; XXXChurch; and the Every Man's Battle books co-authored by Stephen Arterburn.

2. "I have seen the secret sins... paralyze many men with shame, guilt, and embarrassment. I have written this booklet to discuss these matters in a manner that is both theological and practical, in hopes of contributing to each of you experiencing the power of the gospel to forgive, renew, and empower you by grace."

Who really wants to cop to those sins, in mixed company or not? Either we desire to dabble in it (and not get burnt) or we're ensnared by it, desiring to get out but unable to. Not being able to openly confess those sins helps keep us in bondage, IMO.

3. God invented sexuality! Of course, He designed it to be experienced and lived in a specific manner. In that manner (monogamous, heterosexual, within life-long marriage) it is good.

4. Driscoll shows us what sex was intended by God to be about, and how it unites a husband and his wife with one another. Conversely, he also tells us anything that contradicts this is sinful, and lists the best-known sinful abberations of sexuality. He names these sins and in no unclear terms calls them sinful. He does well by doing this, and hopefully he will reinforce this again and again, because those of us sinners who struggle in the area of sex NEED to know that we don't get a free pass for our pet sin, but it's wrong, it's wrong, it's WRONG.

Bryon Mondok said...

great comments, brian...

Mike West said...

Good info - another resource - http://xxxchurch.com/

Prodigal Jon said...

Bryon -
Thanks for leaving that great caption on my site, stuff christians like. That was perfect
Jon

DaveAllen said...

In my own struggles with this, I heartily agree with Briand's comments. Sharing this is the most uncomfortable--indeed, shameful--feeling. As a pastor, I have counseled a few guys in this. the first one, I mentioned, "yeah, I've been there," and that was it--he's out of the church. He later expressed his disappointment in me. I'm so glad this is an ebook that I can forward the link to so many.

Driscoll's take on Genesis is right on. Sexuality, marriage, it's all so deeply spiritual--Eph. 5:22ff teaches how it pictures our relationship with God, the picture of submission and unconditional love. Satan has a cheap substitute for every good thing from God. And, like a baby polar bear, these substitutes seem so cute and harmless(it's just me alone with my computer; who am I hurting?) until one day they grow up, and become a beast that we can't control.

Anonymous said...

What's porn?

Aaron

Mary Gerber said...

From a female perspective...

This may sound kind of harsh; but, I don't think anyone struggling with any type of sexual sin has any business entering into marriage. It simply is not fair to the spouse. If people (both male and female) would deal with those sins first, there would be no need for that uncomfortable talk with ones spouse. Personally, I think a-lot of people try to use marriage as the cure for sexual sin, when in fact it is anything but a cure for it. On the contrary, I think bringing sexual sin into a marriage only makes it worse. At that point it becomes even more taboo and therefore requires more secrecy, which only adds to the shame.
This book (judging by the first page) seems to promote the true and holy meaning of marriage, so its probably a good thing.

Bryon Mondok said...

Mary:

Your point is well taken. So much heart ache could be avoided if honest discussion, mutual prayer, and setting proper expectations between a man and a woman are set before entering the marriage relationship.

I can tell you from my own experience that when the charming and beautiful Susan and I tied the knot, we honestly though that old habits and sins were behind us. Susan knew that as a boy and young man that pornography was part of my life, but neither of us knew or expected it to have any kind of hold on me after I was born again.

After we were married for a while, I didn't stray into any kind of illicit relationship, but I did stray into the sins of my adolescence, that is pornography and masturbation. My poor wife, when I shared my struggles with her, was incredibly offended and hurt. She thought something was wrong with her. She thought that she wasn't meeting my needs or that I found her unattractive. That is the furthest thing from the truth. The problem was/is with me and sin and the fact that sin is NEVER satisfied especially when allowed free reign in a man's (or woman's) life.

What I'm trying to say is yes, it the sin needs to be exposed and dealt with before marriage, but the issue needs to be gracefully re-visited from time to time. We're sexual beings, and old appetites need to be always kept in check; conversations need to be ongoing. Each of us has familiar, comfortable patterns that can trigger sinful habits. Grace exists to empower us to over come these things. But it must be done within healthy, communal relationships. God did not intend for us to deal with sins by ourselves.

Mary Gerber said...

Thank you for the honest response. I don't know why these issues are not addressed more openly and honestly especially in this sick society we live in. I think even single women such as myself need to have a better understanding of these issues and how to handle them in a Godly way if they should surface in a future relationship.

On a lighter note, I love the video of Miss Allie shreaking like a dolphin.

Luke said...

Thanks for the link! Looking forward to having the whole book online.

Thanks for mentioning Covenant Eyes as well. I'm the blogger for CE (www.CovenantEyes.com/blog) and it is always good to read blogging pastors who talk about our software to others. I'm glad you've had a good experience with us these last 5 years.

Luke Gilkerson said...

Hey Bryon,

Thought you might want to splash CE's new video up on your blog:

http://www.tangle.com/view_video.php?viewkey=8453b946b88adca7fac7

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ICTrHtUkx8

We want to spread this message all over the Internet. Thanks for helping us out! God bless.

Bryon Mondok said...

done... thanks, luke...

 

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